Monday, 28 April 2014
The Top Ten Ways You Know You Are In Recovery (or at least I know I am)
10. You know you are in recovery when you try to stay up late and then wonder how you used to exercise all night....man life is tiring.
9. You know you are in recovery when pasta is your new best friend (how did I live without it!?!?!)
8. You know you are in recovery when you get annoyed when people think you don't eat
7. You know you are in recovery when you can pretty much say you've tried every kind of peanut butter
6. You know you are in recovery when losing weight is more stressful than rewarding (talk about anxiety)
5. You know you are in recovery when you exercise and then go eat pizza with your friends because calories are fun little energy bugs
4. You know you are in recovery when you have your own pints of ice cream (do not touch my Ben and Jerry's.)
3. You know you are in recovery when having clothes be too big makes you so mad and scared rather than proud and excited
2. You know you are in recovery when feeling your bones is the last thing you want to happen (bruises everywhere? no thanks. More things to bang on gymnastics stuff...yeah no)
1. You know you are in recovery when you no longer view your dietitian as an evil little troll with a scale and food talk.
Sunday, 27 April 2014
Don't be afraid to be with people that suffer too but don't let it affect your recovery negatively either.
Holidays and traditions are important but don't let them take away your recovery
Sunday, 20 April 2014
Since my last post was over a month ago...you can pretty much assume a lot has happened. So, I am going to quickly catch you up and then talk about why the end of season was so interesting.
This last month has had ups and downs and lefts and rights and all that jazz. I got a prom date, had two meets, met my roommate for next year, and can finally say I am like 90% more comfortable with myself than I ever have been. All of those things have been absolutely wonderful. I've also had to deal with Passover (next post), triggers and recognizing how far I have come. None of those have been fun. In fact that pretty much sucked.
Anyway onto the end of competition season. Championships were held at my gym and that was really nice to recognize so many faces and feel at home. I fell on two of my four routines, which were bi disappointments. Especially my fall on beam. It's my favorite event and I would have gotten my highest score if I hadn't taken that fall. But it happens. I pulled my highest scores on all the other events and at the end of the day was extremely proud of myself. I will admit that it was frustrating and upsetting and I felt awful about most of what I did. Like I had let everybody down. But seeing my coach be proud of me and smiling after my routines, helped me realize that it didn't matter that I had fallen because I had made it. I accomplished my comeback. And someone was proud of me. My all around score went up about three points. And minus missing a skill in my floor routine, I only received .5 in deductions. Basically, after a lot of thought...I am proud of everything I did.
The interesting thing is that not only did I grow as a gymnast over this season...I grew as a person. My symptom usage went down significantly, I am almost a year and half self-harm free, I remembered that the best things in life take work and don't come easily, my friend circle is starting to change, and I now feel like I have a place in life. I had missed out on all of this for so long. I had forgotten about all th hard work and the camraderie and the adrenaline. That is why I love this sport. That is how it has now saved my life.
Now, I leave you with a couple new pictures and couple old. Enjoy!