Sunday 31 July 2016

I May Actually Be The Most Conceited Person Ever

A friend of mine is currently struggling with the fact that she likes a guy but can't date him. While at the same time, she liked a different guy that didn't like her back. She wrote to me trying to tell me how much it hurts. But me, being the conceited bitch that I am, couldn't wrap my head around it. I've had a lot of boyfriends. A lot. Like its just a fact. And to be honest, it's really hard for me to have guy friends because they all end up liking me in some manner. And then I either turn them down and they get hurt or I say yes and then it ends and we both get hurt. If we don't end up in a relationship, we at least make out at some point. So, I just don't get where she's coming from. And yes I'm aware that I sound like a terrible human being. All woe is me because guys want to get in my pants. For the record, my position can suck too. Because every guy I've had as a friend in the past few years just wants something more than me. So, I end up with basically no guy friends. After feeling really terrible about this conversation and my not knowing how to respond... I decided to ask someone who 1. Knows the friend better than I do and 2. Has some actual emotional depth. Nicely enough, she helped and told me how stuck up and terrible I sounded. Which is fine. Because I'm aware. I'm aware that the way my relationships work with guys is an anomaly. To make sure I wasn't going crazy however, I called my best friend. And we chatted about how it's always been that way for both of us. We went through drastic make overs in middle school and then pretty much spent high school attempting to do the same to others that wanted to hang with us. And we serial dated. Or in her her case serial screwed around. We ended not being able to have mutual guy friends because my ex wanted to fuck her and I was dating someone that she had fucked and didn't tell me. And then she actually ducked one of my exes. Basically... We aren't great with male/female relationships. At the end of the day.. I'm trying really hard to understand what it feels like from the other side. And if realizing that I don't know is conceited well then I'm fucked. 

Stay Strong
xo Aria

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