Note to Self: last night you made a crazy mistake because you were hurting. It's okay that you were hurting. But there are definitely better coping mechanisms. But you live and you learn and you grow. Don't beat yourself up. Stand up and start over. Currently you are texting Shannon and you are planning your relapse with her. And the email from Adina is only pushing you further. Don't be stupid. You walked away once. You might not be able to walk away again. You only get so many chances. Right now you think this is a load of bull shit. So, read it later. And again later. And again. You can communicate with your words. Spoken or written. Your body doesn't have to take the brunt of your anger and sadness. Just breathe. Read a book. And for fucks sake stop reading books where the lead has an eating disorder. You can't win against a fictional character.